Sony's E3 2017 Conference Coverage With Hugo & Jake (LiveStream!)

@ 6pm PT

Hugo & Jake watch the Sony conference and talk and stuff.

Sony Conference @ 6pm PT

Hugo and Jake comment on this box here. It's not confusing, it's MODERN TECHNOLOGY!

One day, Hugo was out in the fields of his small farming village, gathering wheat and barley for the local mill owner. The sun beat down on the tanned skin of Hugo's muscular shoulders. It was almost evening, but the heat seemed to be climbing. Hark, in the distance Hugo saw something that would change his life forever. And to this day the internet is reeling from that fateful finding.

While he caught only a glimpse of the man at first, the sight caused him to drop his dutifully cultivated barley in a feverish haste as he felt a wave of insatiable carnal lust overtake him.

What source could elicit such a reaction you might ask? None other than a timid sheep herder of broad, hairless chest and lean, toned calves. Of the man himself he would come to be known as "Jake". How he received that name though is a tale for another day.

They spent that summer sheltered in a small countryside cottage; only each other's passion for drink, tenderness for nourishment.

Some say they starved that summer, as one cannot subsist on love alone.

But the legend of that Summer's Love lives on in song and tale; one poem reading: "..Their carnal desires burned with the heat of freshly ovened Hot Pockets, and the fury of Hugo in a theatre packed with talking children"

Thus the legend of Hugo and Jake.